Another thing they bring up as a symptom is movement disorders. I lived with a lot of movement that I had no control over. I could stop some of them, and others I gave up on. When this first started I felt that someone was caring for me because they would move my body into positions where it would not hurt anymore. Later, I wanted to control my body, even though it taught me that I didn’t have to hurt so much. I felt that around me in this realm in my head controlling my body and violating me through my body. “People who have it may hear voices, see things that aren’t there or believe that others are reading or controlling their minds.(3)” I think this does a good job of explaining… but knowing this it makes me wonder, like I used to wonder, what really is controlling my body when I feel that I am not. Is it the other half of my brain that I have no control over, or what? Still with what is known today, doctors don’t know much about schizophrenia. It still has lots of mysteries.
“People with schizophrenia attempt suicide much more often than people in general population.(9)” Sometimes I was scared because I was being told how to kill myself. It got so bad that I was scared to be by myself. I was afraid that from someone who could control me, would kill me in the night. I also remember that I once saw found no way out; I was so close to killing myself. I wanted to be closer to Jesus so I was about to run my car into the oncoming traffic and also so I could control myself better. The only thing that stopped me was that I felt a stronger, deeper, feeling that it was not the answer to my problems. Since then I have got more pills, and the last time that I was told to kill myself, I just told the voice to shut up.
“Some people who abuse drugs show symptoms similar to those of schizophrenia, and people with schizophrenia may be mistaken for people who are high on drugs… People with schizophrenia are addicted to nicotine at three times the rate of the general population(9)” I have often wondered why anyone would want to take drugs and feel this way. I do remember that earlier on I was being told to smoke, because it would soothe my brain instead of all the anxiety. But to tell you the truth, if I had listened I would have been worse off. “Quitting smoking may be especially difficult for people with schizophrenia since nicotine withdrawal may cause their psychotic symptoms to temporarily get worse.(9)” It is scary to think that something like getting away from the smoking would make your symptoms worsen.