i have books

i will be proofing them and then i will sell them on amazon... it is print by demand. look up schizoaffective, religious, or spiritual

hey there are many things to take into daily life. like to pray prayer is so strong and powerful. there really is a god listening. i have to be careful about what i pray for because it really does get answered. sometimes it gets answered by saying something of a negative feeling. god does communicate.

June 17, 2009
What is a prayer
How do we pray all the time? A friend of mine once said that it is a way of life. She told me ponder and read psalms 15. It is such a beautiful person that it describes. No wonder God would want him by his side. He wants those to dwell with him who share the same heart with him. He that loves and not hates. He that creates peace and not hate. Just imagine the very best person, all the people that carry a good trait imagine that in yourself.
He walks with you who speak with love in your heart, and not defile another. To me this means use your heart of love, but don’t defile them or yourself. You are an equal, love yourself. Be who you wish to be.
Be someone who looks for the good in others. Someone who loves life, and wants to live it to honor God. To show god that you appreciate this gift that has been given to you. Imagine yourself with god, being and acting as he would. That is prayer. That is the ideal.
If you want god to be with you, do things you would find him doing. Do things you wish and know god would. Love him with all your heart. Make his will greater than your own. Treat people how god would treat them, with love. Pray for understanding, give him your heart see what he can do with it. To let him shape you like him, can you even imagine how great that would be.
To see the world through his eyes. To clear you and live like he would. He doesn’t lie to himself who he is. He knows he is good. He knows his purpose. He follows who god is, and he loves him because of it.
He looks to God to be like him. He is caring, interested, understand all. Not the annoying understands all, but a loving truly understands. He is out to have a good time, but loves and teaches how to love and show the greatest gift friendship, experiences things that changes you.
Imagine having an open mind. Living life like he would himself. Yes much to perfect, but it becomes a way of life. We can do it. We are direct descends spirit children of god.
Doesn’t lie to himself. He is good, and he knows it. He treats people with his heart, but he is not offended. He sees that life has a purpose, a meaning, like he can and will make a difference. Comment yourself to this ideal. Pray for it with you actions, with your heart, and emotions and it shall become you.
What a marvelous person who prays this way.

i have started work for whenever they need me. i have been working this week. i asked heavenly father that i would be able to have the energy that i need. i was able to get through it. i did have the energy that i needed. Heavenly Father contunues to bless me and is in my every day life. i am looking for an article for schizophrenia that i wrote for the isj. i haven't had luck finding it yet. god finds a way for the things he wants to accomplish. if you are intrested in buying a book from me it is twenty dollars. i wrote it when i was just finishing highschool and now. this was before i was schizophrenic. people are given special skills when they have something that they have to over come. i still rely on god. he is there and i love him. if you want to hear my testomony let me know. it is about seventy pages. mel

today i am wondering how to publish a book. i have written it and i don't know how to. i will be graduating in december and i want to write more books. all is well with me and my husband. we are happily married. we a very blessed to have eachother. i have been putting some articles to the ensign as well as the idaho state journal. they said that they would print it but i haven't seen it come out yet. i went on a trip and i saw my high school friend. i haven't seen her since high school until now. she is still fun to hang out with. i went and babysitting for my sister while we went on the trip together. i hope all is well with everyone. i don't know when i will be writing agian. i plan to not quite though. pray that i will be able to publish my book. mel

i am working on a book. it is about my believes on how god is in my life and how god can be in yours. i have successfully passed my classes. i got the grades i needed, and now i have one semester left. i am working on getting a lap top and also the programs i did in school.

God gives us trials to us as gifts. some things in life we don't see them as that way. I know that I have learned so much from my schizophrenia. I think that it is cool when i meet someone who has it. my psr worker was wondering why she was put through cancer as badly as she was. I feel that God knows when we are ready for an experience that will help us be better. after my grandma died i was given a phriesthood blessing that sometimes if we don't take the easier ways of learning something, God will teach us another way because he sees our potaintial. it warned me to learn things the easy way or i too would have to learn the hard way. God sure has his reasons. sometimes we are put through things to show to ourseleves how strong we really are. God has faith that we will succeed. He knows we can do it. who better to trust than someone who created us. as someone who loves us and has our greatest joy in mind. during these hard times you learn to rely on the lord. sometimes it is hard to tell what is what... naturally there will be both evil and good forces there. but god doesn't expect us to do it alone. he comes along. he is there listening.... i challenge you for the things that you ask yourself.... why me.... to consider that with in yourself. ponder it adn see how it is wisdom in god... so far that it is a gift from God. I see my trial of schizophrenia as a gift. i know that i am often struggling with the basics on the holy Ghost. But you know what.... I learned. that is the important thing. i have compassion, i have seen myself go through things. and i know how i would react to things since in my mind that is what happens. I know that my wisdom is stronger because of my experiences. I know how it is to struggle with different challenges, even to some they may not be real... it is real to me.... i learned more respect for myself. i saw how i hit my trials. how i learned from them... what good is it if you don't find the best in it. i am grateful for my healing. what a blessing. like with the blind man in the bible asking who do the sin... it was done so that his miracle can be manifested to everyone. sometimes god needs to show you and others these things to witness a miracle. some dye from trials.... but we know that they are taken care with God there trials are through... Some live.... they teach people miracles... because through God they survived. they gain strength that no other way would teach them so much at such a fast rate.. that is what i have learned.

I had a wonderful blessing. I was blessed that I would enjoy this week. I sure am. It feels like I am closer to God, like I have more of is power with me. The blessing said that I would be able to be helped with the things I stand in need of. I am getting closer to Jeremy again. He is wonderful. I am so grateful that I get along so well with his mom. She is wonderful. I can't wait until we can do crafts together. I am grateful for the atonement. I love Heavenly Father. He is so good to me. He listens to me and answers my prayers. He values me... he values each one of us. So is so much good in our lives. God and people make the difference. Like grandpa used to say... me and Jesus. It is so true that Jesus is on our side. He is there knocking. He knows what we need. Sometimes we don't know what to ask for. So you pray for guidance to be lead on what your suppose to say. It will work I can testify of that. I have helped change many people's lives by praying for them in their face. I pray that I will be guided on what to say. That my prayer will make the difference in their lives. God is there for us. People need to know that. He loves us. Do you know what a difference that makes to know that he loves us and that he is over all. Who better to be over us than someone who loves us and wants the best for us. Prayers are answered everyday... maybe more than every second. There is nothing more exciting than to have God a part of our lives. There is nothing more thrilling than to know that you are pleasing God. That you are doing to the best of your knowledge what your suppose to be doing. There is no one that you can keep in your life that is so consistent. No one that is more compassionate. No one that is more helpful. (including Jesus, Holy Ghost, and God) who better to turn to when you are having difficulty. Who better than your maker. He knows all, he sees all, and he wants and knows what is best for you. How grateful I am to know him. How grateful that he has the patients to know me, and for me to get to know him. He knocks, he seeks are you going to return that call. Are you going to pay the cheapest phone bill in your life to a further place? Now that you know, what are you going to do with that knowledge, are you going to let your light shine. And show your good works and glorify your father that is in heaven. You can put your trust in him. He will not fail you now... he didn't fail you then. Trust in the lord with all of thine heart in all thine ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thee for good. What a wonderful promise.

life gets better and better. it is great to have heavenly father in our lives. he is there to guide us in everything that we want. consoul in the lord with all of thou doings when thou layest down at night let it be unto the lord in thanks for the day. when thou risiest in the morning give thanks for him watching over you though the night. this isn't an exact quote... but we need to be greatful. i am grateful that God has so much faith in me that he put me through schizophrenia. It was nice of him to see such benifets. it is nice that he looks at thigns with such wisdom. htere are many things in our life that are there to benifit us. our God is a loving heavenly father. he is there to help us be a better person. yes he lets us have trials.... what a blessing they are in our lives. I wouldn't understand so much if he would have taken that oprtunitnity away from me. we are here on this earth to learn and to show ourselves how strong we are. he knows we can do it. he doesn't set us up to fail. he sets us up to succeed. he sent jesus to go through everything, he even had God's spirit withdrawl so that he will truly understand how it is for us when we sin. he went beneath us all. maybe we should look to heavenly father and trust him. trust that he knows what he is doing. he is there. by faith he teaches us to be more like him. wouldn't it be wonderful to be like him. someone so perfect,,,, someone who sees the good in things that we have troubles seeing in. wouldn't it be nice to see things from his prospective. to see things as if we were at one with god. that his will was ours. that we would want to go through the trials that he has prepared special for us. so that we can grow. how much better we will be. i know that he has knowledge and that he knows each one of us... he knows what will help us and what will destroy us. those people that are given these trials....which is everyone... has something in their character that will help us through them. God is there teaching us step by step how to be like him./ don't you want that. wouldn't the universe run wonderfully if we would act as the materialsike things and follow everything that God has in store for us. He gives us many chances... he doesn't give up on us.... so why shouldn't we take that example.... and trust him who knows all ..... the begining from the end.... and he doesn't give up... be has faith beyond what we can ever imagine... it is time that we show ourselves what God believes us to be... it is time that we use his overpowering faith and have his help to succeed. he knows ... its time that we know.... they say that god can do more for our lives than we can do for ourselves. it is time to give our agnecy to him... let him help us. to save us.... to follow and keep him in our lifes. it doesn't matter what religion you are god loves you... he loves us all. tell him everything. he is waiting for you... for us.... and he is patient,.....its our turn to find out who we are...

if you want something to last forever treat it like it is going to last forever.

improfections of the body is not a sin

there is this wonderful engsign of jan 09 that I read about this person who has bi-polar. it was so neat what he said. the improfections of our body we don't need to worry about. They are not sins. we don't need to feel guilty for our illnesses. I think that is so neat to hear that. so often we see our bodies weaknesses such as mental illnesses as being embarrissing and a sin the we fell for it. I know that I have mistakenly done that. even though i didn't have any control over it i have told my family that i was sorry for what i have put them through because of my schizophrenia... they told me that i didn't need to appoloigize. They are right, but sometimes things just get out of prospective. I have struggled so much in my past that I felt bad when I saw how the people around me took me... but this article taught me something. It taught me that those improfections of my body, even though I was ashamed and embarissed while it was happening, that I didn't need to . it was just a learning tool. I have done faboulous. I guess that that means that God sees the bigger picture. he knows what to put us through to make us better. I am glad that i know so much from my mental illness. it is wonderful, I don't know any other way I could know so much, so fast.